my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
