I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
and you fell through a lawn chair
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
