He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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