Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
