I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
