false alarm. still invincible.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
