Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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