I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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