After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
How does it feel to date your dad?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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