I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
