Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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