I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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