Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
