It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize