CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
