I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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