Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Sober January is a disaster.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
