it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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