I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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