this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
