I accidentally burped into my bong.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
