goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
