Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I look better un-naked...
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
