I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
