So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
