i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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