im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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