Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
