are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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