Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
