I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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