Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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