Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
