i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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