I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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