I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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