The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
