he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
birth control should be required to get into college
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
