What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
