i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
