I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
