I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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