And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
