im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
