Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
