She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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