I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
