god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
