I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
