at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
