She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
