DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Randomize
