a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I need water and some morals
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
