It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
