it wasn't lemon gatorade
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
