is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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