The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize