I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
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